So, I'm trying to work things out again, and rapidly coming to the conclusion that I think waaay too much, and so achieve nothing! lol - isn't that always the way?

I've been trying to figure out exactly what direction my life is taking, and I have absolutely no idea!  I mean, I've got to 35 and realise that I still have no idea where I want to be.  There's alot to be said for going with the flow, but in the long term that doesn't really help the here and now very much!  I'm not enjoying this empty feeling that I get inside.  I'm sick of feeling like there's something missing, without having any idea of what it is!

Life isn't all bad.  What I have in my life, I love.  There's Dave, my friends, family, teaching, the bar work (which I still find far too amusing!) and my outside interest.  But there's this restlessness that won't go away.  There's part of me that wants to experience more life.  I want to take off and do something totally un-me.  I want to experience new stuff, I want to find out where I truely belong, because at the moment I don't feel I do!  I want Dave to be at my side while I do it, but I want to be able to achieve by myself and on my own terms.  I want to live by myself, but I want to live with Dave.  I want a wild career change, but I want to teach.  I want to go abroad for months or years, but I want to be able to return here whenever I want. 

Let's be honest - I want it all, and I can't have it!

How do we become content with our life? At what point do we believe we have everything we ever wanted, that life is the best it ever will be, and if we die tomorrow, we'll have died happy? 

I'm just very confused!